‘Now at this present time I am no longer fully working out to completion [what I do not intend, or what I hate], on the contrary, the self-forfeiture sitting dwelling within me. 18 For I know and am appreciating that absolutely no good is inhabiting within me, existing within this, my flesh, because intending and desiring is lying down side-by-side with me, but working out the good to completion, absolutely not. 19 For I am not manufacturing and constructing good that I am intending, on the contrary, the inner malice and harm that I am not intending, this I am accomplishing’, (Romans 7 v 17 - 19).
Having made his general statement in verse 17, (see the previous post), he now goes on to explain what he means in more detail. From verse 14 Paul has been writing in the present tense and referring to himself as an illustrative example. He is talking to Christians who know law (verse 1), about himself as he is now, as a Christian. He is no longer talking about how things were before he became a Christian. Now ‘I’ [ego] am no longer fully working out to completion what ‘I’ [ego] do not intend. But neither am I perfect and complete.
In verse 17 he says that self-forfeiture is creating an opposing energy, impetus, inclination and movement within him that brings to completion speech and behaviour that he does not desire, that he even despises. When he uses the phrase ‘within him’ he tells us in verse 18 what he means – he is referring to his flesh - his natural, earthy, fleshly, constitution. He has already pointed out that there is a polarising dichotomy between divine law that pertains to breath in the heavenly realm, and his fleshly [constitution] having been sold across the other side under no share and self-forfeiture’, (verse 14). Thus we find that in Paul’s mind, enlightened by the Breath, he knows, appreciates and agrees with good, clean, honourable and praiseworthy divine law, but at the same time, ‘absolutely no good is inhabiting’ his fleshly constitution. Right there he states the crux, the locus, of the conflict, contradiction and inconsistency within him at this present time, as a Christian.
What is the evidence for this situation? How does Paul know that this is indeed the case? He knows ‘because intending and desiring is lying down side-by-side with me’ – the intention and desire towards godliness and divine approval moment-by-moment is settled close beside him – ‘but working out the good to completion, absolutely not’, (verse 18b). There is a problem in the process between his good intention and the working out of his good intention by carrying it across to the other side into his speech and behaviour. Paul says that he can see that this is the case because ‘I am not manufacturing and constructing good that I am intending’, (verse 19a). In fact, worse than this, the opposite is sometimes happening – ‘I am accomplishing the inner malice and harm that I am not intending’, (verse 19b). This is Paul, an Apostle, describing the dynamic process within himself at this present time as a Christian.
I don’t know if this is true of your own experience as a Christian, but it is certainly true of my own experience. I agree with the honour and praiseworthiness of divine law, but with the best intention and desire in the world, I still by no means attain complete and total enlightened self-control. I don’t always end up doing or saying what I intend. I do sometimes find myself doing and saying things that I hate. I find a battle, a conflict, taking place within me, and if I were to say that I am living a perfectly godly life day-by-day, maintaining divine approval by means of my speech and behaviour as a Christian, then I am deceiving myself and fooling no one.
